Insert Dramatic Finale Here
by darkwebx01
Summary: The massive finale.
1. Chapter 1

_Well, I promised there would be a finale, and there will. This is Season 2, set after Mei1105's entry exam fic, apparently. _

_Disclaimer: I do not own Parodies and Spoofs. Except one of the inkdrops by the P, and even that is iffy._

_All aboard for... _

_OO_

Insert Dramatic Finale Here

Prologue (ish): The Nuking of the Bat-Squid

OO

Tyler examined the Sues and Stus currently occupying the basement. There weren't many of them-most of the longer-standing Sues and Stus were atoms on the wind now-but there still appeared to be a need for a basement monitor.

Tyler flashed the Sues and Stus an evil grin, and began speaking.

"At the moment, I have been assigned to stare at you all as if you were capable of escaping. The Prohibitors on your wrists have been specially modified to shock you should you cross the threshold of your cell."

This was a lie-the Prohibitors were completely normal-but it had the effect that Tyler wanted. A Stu edging toward his cell door yelped and jumped back. Tyler grinned.

"Also, I brought you some Mad-Libs."

He tossed a book and a pencil into the cell. The Sue whose cell they had landed in grabbed them and began reciting parts of speech.

"Noun."

"Chicken."

"No, orangutan!"

"No way! Grape!"

"How about noun?"

As the Sues and Stus argued, Tyler took the opportunity to read a book. He was halfway through when a loud alarm blared. This was normal, but the next announcement wasn't.

"All Agents into the conference room! This is not a drill!"

"You're right, it's a jackhammer."

"YOUR LIVER IS MINE!"

"GAH!"

"Is this thing still on?"

"Right in the middle of the book, too…" Tyler mumbled, running out of the basement to rejoin the world.

OO

"There's a massive amount of Sue energy in this fandom."

Marcus raised a hand. "Higher or lower than the Elementals?"

"Higher. It's probably at least level 8."

Ben raised a hand. "How about Chuck Norris?"

"DIEEEE!"

"Anyway, all of you are going in."

"Out of curiousity-,"

"Yes?"

"What fandom is this?"

"We're not sure. We're not even sure if it's an actual fandom or just a dimension. Either way, it's showing up on our monitors, and it's riddled with Suenergy. Let's go."

OO

Several minutes later, in the fandom, in a cave….

"It seems deserted," Tyler mumbled.

Drake swatted him.

"Don't say that! Any time someone says that, they're doomed!"

"That's just an old author's tale."

"No it's not! Haven't you ever noticed it happening?"

"…No."

"Ay…"

"Oi! You two! Stop potentially getting us killed!"

"Told you."

"Shut up."

SKREEEEEE!

"On the record, I blame you for this."

"Yeah, probably justified."

Something massive dropped from the roof of the cavern, plummeting toward the Society. As everyone scattered, the something skidded to a halt, kicking up a huge cloud of dust. Before anyone could do anything, dozens of tentacles whipped out of the cloud, slashing at the Society. Everyone quickly shifted into whatever combat mode they had. As the dust cloud cleared, _something_ was revealed to be a gigantic bat/squid/jiggimathingy. It's tentacles ended in lethal hooks, and small, unpleasant-looking suckers dotted them.

OO

Jared dodged a tentacle-swipe.

"Chloe!"

"What?"

"Give me the syringe!"

"WHAT?"

"I need to test how they shoved together the DNA of a bat and a squid!"

"WHAT?"

"Just give me the syringe."

"…Here." Chloe tossed a large syringe at Jared.  
Jared caught the syringe, and as the tentacle swiped again, he jabbed it with the syringe, extracting a cup of blood. As the syringe filled, the tentacle went pale, shriveled up, and turned to dust.

"Hah! Take that you stupid tentacle!" Jared held the syringe vial to his face.

"Huh. It seems the blood is actively attempting to separate…."

Jared pointed the syringe at the giant bat-squid.

"Eat your own blood, bat-squid-thing!"

The syringe exploded, and glass, a needle, and blood shot at the bat-squid at incredible speed, striking its wing. The bat-thing let out a bellow of agony, leaping into the air. Jared and Chloe darted to one side as the bulk of the bat-squid slammed down where they had been standing a moment ago.

"Boomhammer!"

Jared slammed the Boomhammer onto the bat-squid's gigantic toe. Three seconds passed for comic effect, then…..

"!"

The scream of pain echoed throughout the cavern, knocking the entire Society off its feet. The cavern shuddered with the force of the cry, and several rocks dropped to the sandy ground.

"That worked better than expected…"

"Don't mess with nukes!"

All heads turned toward Ben, who was pointing a single finger at the bat-squid. A loud whistling sound echoed through the cave.

"Skree?"

BOOOOOMMMM!

A mushroom cloud erupted around the bat-squid, engulfing it in nuclear flames. The bat-squid let out a loud, screeching cry as nuclear flames engulfed it (and the author let out a loud. screeching cry as his bill from the Department of Redundancy Department grew even higher), its tentacles shriveling and combusting. It took to the sky (the roof of the cave, anyway), slamming into the walls over and over again.

"My eyes…" Tyler mumbled. He had been staring at the bat-squid when the nuke had hit it, and the resulting flare, combined with the semidarkness of the cave, had left imprints on his eyeballs.

" My ears…" Jared mumbled. He had been standing near the bat-squid after its shriek.

"My nose…" Drake mumbled. He had been standing next to the bat-squid when the nuke hit, and the smell was awful.

OO

Meanwhile, on the PCMSPS ship….

"My finger!" A random Uber-Stu screamed. "I jammed my finger!"

The suddenness of the cry startled the nearby Relyt, and so…

"Mih thun! Ih bfith mih thun!"

OO

Far from this random assaultation of the senses…

Retsa was talking to shadows.

Well, not _really,_ but for all the response the listener was giving, she might as well have been. In fact, she was speaking to a man dressed entirely in black. His face was obscured by the shadows that had been mentioned previously.

"Anyway -,"

The man's name was drowned out by a massive explosion.

"As I have said your name, I feel no need to repeat it. Anyway, the Society is attacking. You know what to do."

As Retsa left the room, she gave a deep sigh of relief. She didn't like talking to him. Especially she nobody ever saw his face. A few jokes had been made about his assumed appearance, but they rarely lasted, seeing as they weren't usually funny.

OO

Back in the creepy dude's room….

"_So, the Society's on it's way here, huh? Ah well… I was getting tired of these games anyway…."_

The man drew a Plothole Generator, generated a Plothole (And a bill), and stepped through it to parts unknown.

OO

Back in the cave….

The bat-squid slammed into the ground, finally dead. All the Society Agents watched in awe.

"That was awesome!"

"Ben, nuke it again and see what happens!"

"I liked the part with the moose!"

"What about the ferris wheel!"

"Eh, that was okay."

"Okay everybody, show's over, let's move!"

The Society moved. The bat-squid was in the way, so they moved again to go around it. Then they moved a third time, towards the end of the cave.

OO

"See, Retsa? I told you that the bat-squid was a bad idea!"

"Oh, shut up, Sirahc. It didn't cost us anything."

"Except 5 dozen Ubers to transport it!"

"Like I said: It didn't cost anything. Why are you complaining anyway? At least we got to watch the show when they nuked it."

"Eh….I suppose so…"

"Exactly. Besides, the bat-squid was only act I. Act II will come when they get to our ship. There we'll destroy them!"

"How do you know? I mean, they beat us last time."

"That was barely, and now that their strongest member's dead, they don't stand a chance against us! Especially not with our new weapon…."

"New weapon?"

"Yes. I had Deraj design it."

"Oh." Sirahc looked irritated. "Why him? I could have done it just as well."

"We need Deraj to be working constantly to keep him from dwelling on the loss of Sue Storm and potentially damaging the ship again."

"Oh."

"Soon, not only will we purify the multiverse, the Society will be out of our way as well!"

Retsa tapped a button on the side of the chair she was sitting in, and recorded evil laughter blared out of speakers that had been strategically placed around the ship, making sure that nobody would miss anything.

"Attention all PCMSPS members, Uber-Sues, Uber-Stus, and vermin that got into the ship despite our best efforts. Man your stations."

Around the ship, each and every PCMSPS member, Uber-Sue, Uber-Stu, and rat stopped whatever they were doing, tensing slightly.

"The Society is coming."

OO

_For the third time in a row, I apologize for the shortness….. The next chapter will most definitely be longer. No less strange though. _

_Brownie points to anyone who can tell me why I am giving out brownie points for telling me why I'm giving out brownie points for telling me…._

_Tyler:* grabs author and drags him off_*_ Sorry, technical difficulties…._

_For telling me why I am giving out brownie points for…_


	2. Chapter 2

_The second chapter of the PCMSPS finale, in which something happens._

OOOOO

Insert Dramatic Finale Here

Act 1: Robot for Robot

OOOOOO

"I still say the flying pinwheels were best!"

"They were okay, but the moose was better."

"You two in the back! Pipe down!"

"We're in a desert with no one around for miles! Who'll hear us?"

"Another bat-squid?"

"Unlikely."

THUMP!

"Am I jinxed today or something?"

"It's a possibili-,"

THUMPTHUMP!

"This can't be good."

THUMPITATHUMPITATHUMP!

"Do we ever catch a break?"

WHUMP!

"Oh."

SHWAKITASHWAKITA-

"SHUT UP WITH THE ONOMATOPOEIAS!"

Fine, fine. Anyway…

A spray of sand arced over a nearby dune.

"What? We just went through one fight scene!"

"The Suenergy level was 8 or higher, did you think one bat-squid was all?"

"Who's talking anyway? The author hasn't really specified voices for a while!" Tash demanded.

A pair of floating mouths quietly vanished.

Tash let out a sigh of annoyance. "Better."

Cristoph raised a hand "Now that we know who was talking, does anyone know what those are?"

"What what are?"

"Those." Cristoph pointed behind Tash, who turned.

"Oh….those."

Dozens of beach-ball sized metal spheres were rolling down the side of the dune.

Tash blinked. "If I had to take a guess….I'd say they were probably robots that got around in the form of beach-ball sized metal spheres."

As each sphere reached the end of the dune, it unfolded into a robot. The robots stood about six feet high, with a single electric eye.

"Battle droids?"

"No, too dangerous-looking."

One of the robots charged forwards. "_**Rogerrogerrogerrogerroger….**_"

"Shut up!" Tyler hurled an energy blast into the robot's "Stomach." Said robot folded back into its beach ball form, and then exploded, forming a deep indent in the sand. Another of the beach ball forms rolled into the indent, launching itself into the air…

"_Juari-Ken….Rinwi!"_ Tash slammed into the beach ball feet first, sending it flying into a group of robot forms. The resulting explosion left a patch of glass in the sand, which slipped up another two beach ball forms, sending them plowing into sand dunes.

Several meters away, Kyle stabbed the Omniweapon, currently in the form of a katana, through a gap in a robot's armor, then jumped away as the robot exploded in a massive fireball. Bits of metal stuck into nearby robots, which also exploded, although less violently. Then he ducked as another robot, in beach-ball form, went flying over his head. He turned to see Drake rubbing the back of his head.

"Sorry!"

OOOOOOO

Up on the PCMSPS ship….

"Since when do we have robots?"

"I dunno, somebody must have built them."

"Yes, but-,"

"OUT!" Retsa charged into the room, brandishing her staff.

The two floating mouths squeaked in fear and vanished again.

"We've been infested by mouths again…..ULRIC!"

The Uber-Stu came running up. "Yes?"

"Go find those mouths before they start breeding!"

"Okay." The Uber-Stu ran off.

OOOOOOOO

Back to the action…

"Die, bizarre-looking robot, die!"

"Robots can't die, Tyler."

Tyler finished swallowing the robot's head, then looked up at Drake.

"It all depends on how hard you hit them."

"No it doesn't. A robot isn't a living thing, and thus, you can't kill it."

"Whaaatever."

Drake blinked. "Oookay…. I propose a competition."

Tyler was suddenly standing up. "Hm?"

"Most enemies smashed and/or vaporized."

"You're on."

OOOOOOOOO  
The fight raged on….

OOOOOOOOOO

Aster fired a blast of water at a robot, short-circuiting it.

"This is weird….why would the PCMSPS make robots when they have the Ubers?"

Valerie fired energy arrows into a group of the robots, blasting them apart.

"Maybe there was spare Suenergy, and they used it?"

Pete fired a spray of energy bullets into the robots.

"Whatever it is, they aren't very well made…"

Ben nuked a swarm of robots.

"Really? I didn't notice."

Jared Boomhammered a robot, while Chloe stabbed through the "skull," of another.

"He's right," Chloe agreed. "When I stabbed one of them, it just sort of….fell apart."

"And Ben, how would you notice if you keep nuking them?" Jared asked.

Rhia slashed one in two.

"Well, a robot that was built to be radioactivity-proof might be able to survive a nuke."

Claire and Michael cut down robot after robot.

"It would take a lot of radioactivity-proof….ness to survive an actual nuke," Michael pointed out.

"It would probably blow the PCMSPS budget." Claire continued.

Harriet smashed a robot with her cricket bat.

"They could sell that green laser. That might account for it."

Miri wedged her staff under the head of a robot before popping it off.

"I don't think selling a green laser would pay for lead coatings…especially not forty-foot-thick lead coatings…"

Terrie hurled a knife into a robot, which promptly exploded.

"Or they could just have a teleport spell built in or something…it would be a lot cheaper."

Ezra shattered the legs of several robots.

"I don't think that would be practical. Robots would be appearing out of nowhere at inconvenient times."

Danielle sent the head of a robot flying with a sharp whack.

"Yeah, like on the dinner table or in the middle of the night."

Thought Marcus opened his umbrella in the face of a robot, sending it stumbling backwards…right onto the sword of Emotion Marcus.

"Th-they could have p-p-protected them from n-nukes w-with a shielding sp-spell."

"OR A REFRIGERATOR!"

Willie blasted a robot with the Bolero of Steam.

"Maybe they just made the robots really cheaply, so they don't have to worry if a few dozen get nuked."

Kyle swung the Omniweapon as a mace, crushing a robot to bits.

"They did. We're just wondering why."

Jess jabbed one with her needle, and it fell apart.

"Maybe they have other minions, like the bat-squid."

Tyler rolled the Wall of Defense down a hill, knocking over several robots.

"27…28…29…and they do. They have the Ubers."

Drake punched the head off a robot.

"34! They also have the green laser."

Karissa swung her chain whip, ripping a gash in a robot. The robot, being shoddily made, exploded.

"What's so important about a green laser?"

Joe ripped a robot apart.

"Maybe it's a particularly dangerous green laser?"

Cristoph hurled a shuriken into a robot. The robot sparked, went dead, and fell over.

"It is. It's certainly powerful enough to fuse sand to glass, at any rate."

Ossa sliced a robot in two, and it fell apart. Ossa was turning away to deal with another robot when something caught her eye. She sliced the second robot in two, then picked a a bit of its armor that had fallen off. It was corrugated.

"Hey, everybody! These robots are made of cardboard!"

Chrys blasted a robot with desu, reducing it to rubble.

"Cardboard? Really?"

Dave swung his axe, beheading a robot.

"Well, it would explain why this fight is so _boring_."

Shirley lunged at Dave, who narrowly dodged her.

"Ugh! Even for you, that was bad."

Lily smashed a robot with her Ice Blow.

"Blame the author."

Alice sliced a robot to bits with her sword.

"Yes, let's do that".

Louise shot a robot.

"Or we could just ignore the whole thing."

Tom beat a robot to death with a shrubbery.

"Take that! And that! And that!"

Akai stabbed a robot with her spear.

"3…2…1…"

The robot fell apart.

OOOOOOOOOOO

Twenty minutes later…

The last robot fell to the ground, its head who-knows-where.

Jared grinned. "Well, that was easy."

"Don't say things like that!" Chloe admonished. "Do you want to fight another few thousand robots?"

Jared smirked. "You really think the author is going to bother writing another fight scene?"

"You've got a point there…"

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Elsewhere…

Sirahc frowned.

"So far, it's Society 2, Deraj's weird inventions 0. Why is he still here?"

Deraj leapt to his feet in anger.

"Like your Negatizer Magnet was any better? It was supposed to make sure there were only our Elimination Society counterparts there! Instead, we get two of the leaders!"

"And you're saying your Sue Storm device went perfectly?"

"You little-,"

Deraj was about to lunge at Sirahc when a wall of rock separated them. Retsa stood up.

"Sirahc, there was nothing wrong with the Sue Storm device. And Deraj, Sirahc made the Space Hammer cards and the Prohibitor-removal technology. I keep you two around for different reasons, and as long as those reasons exist, neither of you are leaving this ship.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

"46! Beat that!" Tyler announced.

"52," Drake replied calmly.

"WHAT?"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Soon our Society counterparts will get here, and then they'll taste the power of our ultimate weapon!" Ekard proclaimed.

"Didn't we already have an ultimate weapon?" Relyt asked.

"What, the green laser? Please. That's old hat by now."

"Ah. And the multi-cannons?"

"Pebbles compared to our new weapon."

"The Razor-Lazor?"

"That never worked in the first place."

"True."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"So, if the first threat we encountered was the bat-squid…" Tash started.

"And then the robots…" Harriet continued.

"Crack logic dictates that the next threat will be the Ubers, and hence the PCMSPS Agents themselves!"

The Society let out a loud cheer.

"However, as it required about a mile of walking between the bat-squid and the robots, we think it will be about twice that to get to the PCMSPS!" Harriet yelled.

The Society let out a loud groan.

"Just kidding!" Tash confirmed.

The Society let out a loud sigh of relief.

This could have gone on all day, or at least until the author ran out of synonyms for "said," but it was interrupted by a massive shadow that enveloped all the Society members, and the humming that precedes spaceship landings in all good sci-fi movies. The Society scattered to avoid being crushed by the rapidly descending PCMSPS ship. However, instead of landing, the ship released dozens of Uber pods, quickly followed by the PCMSPS members parachuting down to join them.

"Well….that was a lot shorter than a mile," Harriet mumbled.

Retsa sliced off her parachute, then formed a fireball in her hand, pointing it at various Society Agents.

"Well well well. Society, we meet again."

"Quit ripping off old lines and let's get to the fight scene!"

Harriet frowned. "Okay, who said that?"

"They did," responded Karissa, pointing at the mouths, who had appeared out of nowhere.

For the first and last time in all of recorded history, a ACMSES member and a PCMSPS member worked together. Both Tash and Retsa launched a blast of fire at the mouths, incinerating them instantly.

Retsa smirked. "The first shots have been fired. Let the battle begin."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

_Couple quick and random brownie point questions:_

_-Something was weird about the line breaks. Anyone who wishes to try and guess may, as is customary for brownie point questions._

_-The last chapter's title was based off "The Taming of the Shrew." This chapter's title was also based off a Shakespeare play? Which one?_

_Next chapter coming hopefully quicker than this one._


	3. Chapter 3

_Third chapter…more fight scenes, more running gags, and more abusing Mr. Shakespeare._

_11111_

Act 2: Much Ado About Perfection

22222

BANG!

BOOM!

KRACKOOM!

ZING!

BLAM!

WHUNK!

Tash blinked. "Who turned on the Special Effects Boombox?"

Harriet frowned. "Not sure…it just turns itself on before fight scenes."

"Oh."

SHWACKABO-

"QUIET!" Retsa impaled the boombox with a spear of rock.

"Hey! That was our best boombox! THIS MEANS WAR!" Harriet lunged at Retsa, swinging her cricket bat.

THWOOM!

Retsa was blasted off her feet, drilling through five rows of Ubers before plowing into the sand, traveling another 20 feet before stopping.

Eolhc lunged toward Harriet, preparing to slip a knife in her ribs…

"Enchanto!"

"Wha-,"

BLAM!

A handful of explosive Rubik's Cubes blasted Eolhc backwards. Before the PCMSPS Agent had landed, the other Agents were already charging their counterparts, while Ubers swarmed the rest of the ACMSES.

33333

Drake swatted aside an Uber-Stu before stabbing at Ekard. The PCMSPS Agent barely caught the blow on his spear, pushing it aside.

"Storm Kick!" Drake planted a boot in Ekard's chest, throwing him backwards. Before he could press the advantage, a pair of Ubers lunged at him, forcing him to deal with them. By the time he had dealt with them, Ekard was already back on his feet.

"Drought Punch!"

"Storm Punch!"

The Agent's fists collided, forming an explosion of violet light that knocked them both back.

"Drought Kick!"

Ekard leapt towards Drake, foot outstretched Drake grinned.

"Storm Punch!" As Ekard's foot shot towards Drake's head, Drake reached up one hand, grabbing the PCMSPS Agent's foot and yanking on it before delivering the Storm Punch to Ekard's face. The doppelganger was sent flying backwards, slamming into the ground.

Drake raised a fist in triumph, but his victory was short-lived as an Uber-Sue struck from behind, preparing to stab him in the back….

SHWANG!

A blast from Bahamut vaporized it, then went on to slam into another battalion of Ubers, vaporizing them as well.

Drake blinked. "Ben?"

"Do you know someone else with a guitar that doubles as a weapon?"

"Touche."

"Speaking of weapons, behind you!"

Drake spun around in time to stop Ekard's spear from decapitating him.

"Wait…how do you decapitate someone with a spear?"

"Like this!" Ekard hissed, swinging his spear in a wide arc and bringing it down towards Drake's neck

Ting!

Ekard blinked. "Huh…"

BANG!

Ekard was pushed back a few feet, and his strike went wide.

"Slicing….GALE!" The point-blank attack blasted Ekard off his feet, sending him flying into the air. Drake turned to Tyler, who was already fishing a second explosive out of his pouch.

"Out of curiosity, where's Relyt?"

"Oh….he's fighting his way past his own Ubers."

"Isn't he wearing opposite colors from you?"

"I stole some spraypaint when we left."

"Nice."

"Why thank you."

"Excuse me! Fighting the Ubers and Relyt here!" Ben yelled. "And Ekard's coming back down!"

"Sorry!" Drake and Tyler apologized simultaneously, running off to deal with their respective counterparts.

44444

"Deadly…Impact!" Kyle slammed a fist into an Uber-Stu, vaporizing it. As the recoil from the punch launched Kyle into air, he turned over once, then extended both feet, dropping towards the ground.

"Blasting Quake!" Kyle slammed into the ground feet first, and a massive explosion rippled out, vaporizing every Uber within 30 feet.

The force of the recoil launched him back into the air, but this time he drew the Omni-weapon, as the blade and handle of a flamberge appeared out of it. As Kyle landed, he was already swinging the flamberge, decapitating three Ubers with one swing, then going to work on the rest. In several minutes, only ten Ubers remained, two of which were running away, while the other eight gathered together before charging Kyle as one.

"Closer….closer…" As the Ubers leapt for Kyle, he spun in a circle to gather speed before launching a mighty swing with the rapidly-extending Omni-weapon. The slice bisected all eight Ubers, who had finished vaporizing before they reached Kyle. Kyle spun the flamberge once more before shrinking it into a simple broadsword.

"Coming through!"

"Huh?"

Out of nowhere, Tyler appeared, arcing over Kyle's head and landing in a heap behind a rock that seemed to have appeared from nowhere.

Kyle blinked. "What happened to you, and where did that rock come from?"

"I came from over there, where Relyt hit me with an energy blast. As for the rock, I have no idea."

"Oh."

Relyt, just as Tyler and the rock had, suddenly appeared from nowhere, jumping over the rock, only to be met by an explosion, propelling him into a rapidly approaching Ekard. Both the PCMSPS Agents crashed into the rock, as Ben and Drake came running up.

"Storm Kick!"

"Don't mess with nukes!"

Tyler, who had been climbing over the rock, immediately dived back down, while Drake somehow changed direction in midair to avoid the falling warhead.

BOOOOM!

The entire area was lit up in blinding light, and Kyle dived behind another convenient rock. When the light faded, Relyt and Ekard were nowhere to be seen.

Tyler blinked. "Where did they go."

"We're behind you, idiot."

"No you're not."  
"What?"

"You're in front of me."

"No, we're behind you!"

Tyler turned around. "_No,_ you're in front of me. Drake's behind me."

"Storm kick!"

Relyt and Ekard paled. "Oh…"

WHAM!

Ekard and Relyt went flying, landing in a crumpled heap. Drake struck an appropriately awesome pose, before he and Tyler ran off, followed by Ben, who was blasting Ubers left and right with the power of rock.

Kyle blinked.

55555

"Juari-Ken….Rinwi!" Tash shot forward, pointing both feet at Retsa, who barely dodged in time.

"Yah!" AS Retsa prepared to launch a spike of rock and Tash, Harriet's cricket bat slammed into her from behind, sending her flying facefirst into the sand. Retsa jumped back to her feet, and was about to launch a fireball at Harriet, when a high-pressure blast of water knocked her off her feet. She got up, spluttering furiously, as Aster landed in front of her.

66666

Ossa blocked a strike from an Uber-Sue, then sliced it in half, jumping aside to avoid a blast of energy that had shot down from the ship now floating far above the field of battle.

"Tash?"

"Yes?"

"What physics does this fandom use?"

"Game physics mostly, with a bit of anime."

"Ah. Good. This should work then."

As the next blast shot down, Ossa swung her sword upwards, and as blast and blade connected, contrary to all known laws of physics, the blast shot back upwards, pointing towards the cannons from whence it came.

77777

Yzzo grinned as the energy blast rocketed down towards her counterpart. The grin faded and was replaced by a look of abject horror as the energy blast reversed course, heading straight towards her.

"Oh no…"

She leapt out of her chair, turning to run, but she never made it. The blast ripped through the hull of the ship, incinerating the PCMSPS Agent instantly.

88888

Yzzo's death seemed to rally the ACMSES, and the tide of battle began to turn.

99999

Cristoph dodged a slash from Hpotsirc, and stabbed forward with a sai. Hpotsirc barely got his sword up in time to defend himself, and even so, all he could manage was to deflect the blade into leaving a long cut along his arm. Cristoph drew a second sai, stabbing at Hpotsirc's stomach. The PCMSPS Agent shifted slightly, and the attack missed. Hpotsirc grinned. With a powerful shoulder tackle, Cristoph was sent stumbling backwards. Hpotsirc raised his katana in preparation for a killing blow.

"Time to-URK!"

From nowhere, a shuriken suddenly appeared in Hpotisirc's stomach. The PCMSPS Agent blinked, as if not believing what was currently lodged in his gut. He scrabbled around at the shuriken, as if to confirm its existence, before toppling to his knees, and finally slumping over.

Cristoph ran over to check if Hpotsirc was dead, but there was no need. As he approached, the PCMSPS Agent slowly dissolved into specks of glowing golden light, which floated up into the sky, and were drawn into the massive airship hovering over the battlefield.

Cristoph frowned, but quickly ran off to find Rhia.

1010101010

"Bolero of Steam!" Willie slashed the air in a pattern, which turned into steam and shot forward. Eilliw tapped the button on his weapon, which became a fan, blowing the steam back at Willie, who dived to one side so as to avoid being boiled alive.

"Hellfire!" A blast of pitch-black flames rocketed towards Eilliw, who countered with a large missile.

"Wood Imprisonment!" A cage of wood formed around Eilliw. The PCMSPS Agent frowned.

"Haven't we done this before?"

"What do you mean?"

"Not sure…this just feels sort of….familiar."

"Déjà vu?"

"I guess…anyway!" Eilliw's weapon became a mace, smashing the bars of the wooden cage, and sending slivers flying towards Willie, who deflected them off the edge of his sword, and slashed at Eilliw's head.

"Prepare to die, Eilliw!"

"That's my line! I'm the villain here!" Eilliw's weapon turned into a club, and he swung it, knocking the sword away.

"I said it fair and square! Water Scythe!" Willie slashed the air in another pattern, which glowed blue before transforming into a blade of water and slashing at Eilliw. The PCMSPS Agent screamed as it sliced into his shoulder, but managed to fire a single rocket at Willie.

The Society Agent readied his sword, slashing an orange pattern in the air. "Fire…"

The missile moved closer and closer.

"SLASH!" Willie swung his sword, and the pattern wrapped around the sword, transforming into flames. Willie slashed the missile in half, and the flames of the explosion were absorbed into the sword. Eilliw was unable to dodge in time, and the blade cut him neatly in half. Before either half could hit the ground, they had both dissolved into golden light, that was sucked into the airship, like Hpotsirc had been.

Willie dropped the sword point first into the soft sand, leaning on it, and admired the beauty of the death.

1111111111

"Juari-Ken….Tairenso!" Tash exploded into a whirlwind of flame, slamming into Retsa and sending her skidding back, into a blast of wind from Aster. The PCMSPS leader was thrown into the air, but managed to flip over and land softly on the ground, only to get knocked backwards by Harriet's cricket bat. After righting herself, Retsa blocked a blast of water with a wall of rock before unleashing a firestorm towards all three of her assailants, sending them flying. Tash recovered quickest, lunging at Retsa with a fierce slash, but Retsa simply knocked it aside with a stone gauntlet before blasting Tash backwards with a burst of solar energy. Hati was next, but a wall of rock pushed her to one side. Finally, Aster charged her, but a flamethrower-like blast stopped her in her tracks.

"All of you….DIE!" Retsa thrust out both arms, and a ring of fire erupted outward. All three Agents were forced to take cover behind convenient rocks to avoid being roasted. Retsa took the opportunity to pull out a Space Hammer card and activate it. Aster, Hati and Tash held their collective breaths. What deadly weapon would it transform into. The card glowed white, morphing into…

…An unintimidating-looking rubber haddock. Tash blinked. Retsa frowned, and gave it a small test swing…. that produced an explosion powerful enough to blast the rock Tash was hiding behind into dust. For a moment, all combat stopped, and everyone simply stared at the Haddock of Mass Destruction. Retsa grinned, very, very, evilly. Then Aster slammed into her from behind, and the Haddock went flying high into the air.

1212121212

Somewhere in the ship….

Ssej was tapping buttons on an Ipod, blissfully unaware of the fact that her actions were launching cannonfire at the battle below. This may have been the reason that she didn't notice the haddock flying into a small gap in the ship's hull. It was almost certainly why she didn't move as it struck the floor in front of her, releasing an explosion that incinerated her instantly.

1313131313

Karissa slipped out from behind the rock she had used for cover from the buzzsaw Assirak's Space Hammer had turned into. Assirak was standing only a few feet away, buzzsaw whirling loudly, back turned. Karissa blinked, before deciding not to look a gift horse in the mouth and lashing Gekkou at the doppelganger. The chain whip spun towards Assirak…

And passed straight through her. Karissa had only a short time to wonder what had happened before she had to leap away from Assirak"s buzzsaw.

"I can create illusions of myself! As you can, they work quite we-,"

She was cut off by Gekkou wrapping around her leg and yanking her off her feet. Karissa tugged on the chain whip, and Assirak was thrown past her to land in a heap on the sand. The double hurled the buzzsaw at Karissa, who dodged. Karissa swung Gekkou again, this time managing to leave a cut along her arm. Assirak spun with the blow, drawing a second Space Hammer and activating it. As it transformed into a long spear, Karissa swung Gekkou, wrapping around the spear and yanking hard. Assirak held on to the spear, running forwards to try and impale Karissa. Karissa stepped to one side, and the PCMSPS Agent stumbled past her, Gekkou pulling her around.

"Yah!"

Karissa yanked on Gekkou again, and the spear was pulled out of Assirak's hand. Karissa spun once, whirling Gekkou, spear still attached, before swinging it at the PCMSPS Agent. Before Assirak could react, the blade had pierced her heart.

1414141414

"Epicenter!"

"Enchanto!" A blast of earth and a handful of Rubik's cubes slammed into Deraj and Eolhc, sending them flying.

"Boomhammer!" Jared rushed forward, jumping up and bringing the hammer down.

"Flashbar!" Deraj shielded his eyes, swinging the Flashbar up to meet the Boomhammer. The weapons collided, forming an explosion that launched Jared into the air. Unfortunately for Deraj, he had nowhere to go but further down.

"Disenchanto!" Eolhc rushed forward, swinging the bladed shield at Jared.

"Enchanto!" Chloe leaped between Eolhc and Jared, swinging her own shield and shoving Eolhc away.

"Quake!" Deraj took the time given him by Eolhc to recover and pound the ground, throwing Jared and Chloe off their feet.

"Tremor!" A shockwave ended Deraj's status of Only One Standing.

Chloe jumped up, bashing Deraj in the face with her shield.

Eolhc jumped forward, trying to impale Chloe.

"Boomhammer!" Eolhc was blasted off her feet by a sound wave.

"Flashbar!" Deraj lunged at Jared, swinging the crowbar.

"Yah!" Chloe stabbed Deraj hard in the leg. The doppelganger let out a cry of pain.

Eolhc swung the bladed edge of her shield at Chloe.

"Boomcenter!" Jared slammed the Boomhammer into the ground, and a huge wall of earth leapt up, towering over Eolhc.

"Oh no…"

KRUNCH!

Jared winced. That hadn't sounded pleasant. The golden dust now seeping out of the mound of earth added some strength to his theory.

"Jared, look out!"

"Flashbar!"

"Wha-Gah! Boomhammer!"

Hammer and crowbar collided in what looked like a bolt of lightning. Deraj had shielded his eyes, but Jared hadn't and was now blinking rapidly, trying to get the spots out of his eyes. Deraj drew his revolver.

"Jared, it's been fun, but now it's over. Perhaps, if we meet up in the afterlife, I'll buy you a drink. Prepare to d-AUGH!"

Chloe removed her sword from his hand. Deraj dropped the revolver, clutching the injured hand in pain. Meanwhile, Jared had recovered the use of his eyes.

"Boomhammer!"

"Yah!" The shield smashed into Deraj with incredible force, nearly knocking him out. Then the Boomhammer hit him.

WHOOMP!

Deraj was launched into the air.

"Enchanto!" Deraj vaguely registered the word, and that three small cubes had appeared above him. Then he realized what was about to happen. He paled.

BOOM!

Jared and Chloe watched as the golden dust whirled upwards into the ship.

1515151515

"Storm Kick!" Drake slammed his foot into Ekard's face, sending him flying and cracking his visor. The doppelganger landed hard, but flipped to his feet and drove his spear point-first into the ground.

"Erupting Earth!" An arc of red energy leapt toward Drake, who dodged and swept his spear across the ground.

"Slicing Gale!" The familiar blue energy blades appeared, but this time, they traveled along the ground, lifting into the air, forming miniature dust devils. Ekard tried to dodge, but the storms were all around him. They slammed into him, lifting him up and tearing into his armor before depositing him unceremoniously on the ground. Drake smirked. Ekard picked himself up, spitting sand out through his destroyed visor. As Drake ran forward, Ekard swung a foot upwards.

"Drought Kick!" Ekard's foot hit Drake in the chest, throwing him backwards. Ekard hopped to his feet.

"You may have gotten in a few lucky hits, Drake, but now I'm going to kill you."

"Thanks."

Ekard blinked. "Why are you thanking me? I just threatened to kill you."

"Whatever. The _point_ is, this fandom clearly isn't a dub. All the dissolving into golden dust was starting to worry me."

"Huh?"

"Never mind."

"Drought Punch!" Ekard leapt forward, fist outstretched.

"Storm Punch!" Drake and Ekard collided in a brilliant purple explosion that forced both of them backwards.

"Slicing Gale!"

"Erupting Earth!" The two attacks whizzed past each other, slamming into Ekard and Drake respectively.

"Storm Kick!"

Drought Kick!" The two slammed into each other, and both Drake and Ekard were thrown back. Drake rolled to his feet, but Ekard had taken more damage during the fight, and simply hit the ground. Drake advanced on Ekard, who didn't seem like he was getting up any time soon. As Drake approached, Ekard rolled onto his back.

"Go on….finish it."

Drake frowned behind his visor. "No."

"What?"

"Don't get me wrong, I'd love to. But frankly, I've watched enough movies to know that if I do, it's all really part of your master plan or something."

Ekard's eyes narrowed. "Fine. Drought Punch!"

As Ekard leapt up, Drake made a decision in his mind. As the fist approached his face, he caught it, hurling Ekard past him. Drake raised his spear.

"Slicing…..GALE!" The energy blades exploded forth, slicing Ekard apart and into golden dust.

1616161616

Tyler dodged a strike from Relyt, countering with an explosive to the face.

"You know, you could just give up, Relyt. You're obviously outmatched."

"Where do you get _that_ from? You hit me one measly time!"

"_And _set your own Ubers on you…"

"Okay, I admit, that was crafty, but-,"

"_And_ hit you with a rock…"

"Yeah…"

"And _then_ I threw an explosive at your face!"

"Fine. _Three_ measly hits."

"Four."

"Huh?"

Tyler hurled another explosive at Relyt, blasting him off his feet.

"As I said; you're outmatched."

Relyt sprang up, already firing an energy blast at Tyler. Tyler sidestepped, firing a blast of wind. The blast rocketed towards Relyt, kicking up a dust cloud on the way. Relyt formed an energy shield to block, then prepared to retaliate…except Tyler was gone. Someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around, and Tyler punched him in the face.

Relyt stumbled backwards, clutching a bloody nose. "What the-,"

"Tylerportation. Where've you been?"

Somewhere, at least 100 feet away, ripping through a squad of Ubers, Shirley twitched.

"That's gotta be the worst pun ever," Relyt groaned.

"Probably," Tyler agreed.

Relyt lunged again, and for a few seconds the immediate ten feet were obscured by magic bursts colliding, explosions, and dust. Then they broke apart, flying in opposite directions, bouncing off rocks and shooting back at each other."

WHOOM!

Tyler and Relyt collided in a brilliant purple explosion, blasting apart, only to charge at each other again. The battlefield they had chosen erupted into a maelstrom of destruction, and the two were hidden from view by a tornado of magic, only appearing for a few instants before vanishing into the storm again.

-Tyler smashing his staff into Relyt's arm….

-Relyt blasting Tyler in the face with a spray of energy…

-Tyler pummeling Relyt with a flurry of explosives….

-Relyt slamming Tyler to the ground with an energy rope…

-"Did you have a bad day-,"…

Finally, a massive explosion, and Relyt was expelled from the tornado, slamming into a rock, and slumping to the ground. Tyler stepped out of the dying tornado, catching his stun bomb as it returned to him. Relyt lifted his head weakly as Tyler approached, forming a blade of energy at the end of his staff, preparing to finish Relyt off.

"Any last words?"

Relyt smirked. "My death….is only the beginning."

Tyler rolled his eyes. "See you in hell." He stabbed down.

1717171717

Eirelav rushed across the battlefield, trying to locate Retsa. She finally found her leader, still holding her own against Aster, Tash, and Harriet.

"Retsa!"

The PCMSPS Agent turned. "Yes?"

"It's ready."

Retsa raised an eyebrow. "Is it? Well then, you know what to do."

Eirelav nodded. As Tash rocketed forwards, Eirelav suddenly appeared in front of her, blocking her from Retsa. Tash tried to swerve around her, but it was too late. _Nepthys_ cut Eirelav cleanly in two. As both halves dissolved, Tash continued toward towards Retsa, but the blow was lessened, and the PCMSPS leader was sent flying. She landed in a heap, a cut on her stomach bleeding freely, pulling out a small remote. Before anyone could do anything, she punched a button, and spoke into a small voice-analyzer-thingy.

"Operation Final Perfection…Go."

1818181818

All around the battlefield, Society Agents found the Ubers they had been fighting dissolving into nothing.

Meanwhile, up on the ship….

"ATTENTION ALL. OPERATION FINAL PERFECTION IS NOW IN EFFECT."

Syrhc and Sirahc were working on a small device when the announcement blared out of a speaker. They both paled before running for a door. Neither made it. Turrets appeared from the wall, opening fire on them and reducing them to dust.

All through the ship, the same was happening to each and every Uber and PCMSPS Agent or techie.

1919191919

As the entire ACMSES watched, Retsa began to laugh. It began as a low chuckle, but quickly became an insane cackle, that drilled into the Agent's heads. Tash stepped forward.

"What are you laughing about? You've lost!"

Retsa lifted her head to look at Tash, an evil, horrible grin stretching across her face.

"Oh, Society….you have no idea."

2020202020

And so it was, and so it shall be, and I have no idea what I'm talking about here.

What Shakespeare play was the title based off?

Next up; The obligatory plot exposition chapter!


	4. Chapter 4

_The obligatory plot-exposition chapter! Not long, but very informational._

TTTTTTTTTT

**A Society's Tale.**

TTTTTTTTTT

"What do you mean, we have no idea?" Tash demanded, stepping forward.

Retsa frowned. "Exactly what I said; you have no idea."

"A little more specific perhaps?" Harriet this time, stepping forward and waving her cricket bat menacingly.

"Hmm…." Retsa smiled. "How's this; As soon as I die, my life-force will be converted into it's original state of Suergy, which will be drawn into that ship up there, or as you wished me to be more specific, into a large container _inside_ the ship. After the ship itself is absorbed, the container will become a powerful bomb. When said bomb goes off, it will instantly purify every fandom and sub-fandom universe in existence, by which I mean completely erase all life within such in a horrifically detailed manner."

Michael blinked.

"Okay…that's a little _too_ specific."

"Question."

Everyone turned. At the back of the Society, Tyler was raising a hand. He had actually been doing so since the second after the Ubers had vanished, but nobody had noticed him, as they had been facing Retsa, who couldn't see him from her current position of slumped against a convenient rock.

Retsa raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"Seeing as we've been dealing with you guys for 10 of my author's fics, and additional fics from other authors over time, can you shut up about your evil plan for a moment and explain about how you came into existence, seeing as you're the last surviving PCMSPS member, and as such, when you die, the knowledge is going to be completely lost, and everyone will have to wonder what the hell caused you guys, along with how this fic relates to anything previous?"

Total silence. Retsa smiled.

"You want to know how I came to exist….and that other stuff? Very well then…."

OBLIGATORY PLOT-EXPO FLASHBAAAAACK…..GO!

"_Heh…." A soft chuckle from Saito drew everyone's attention to the man, where he was leaning against a wall. "You're all worrying unnecessarily. If your claims to be the Librarian's friends is true, then you know exactly what his reaction will be…" He slipped a cigarette into his mouth and struck a match before lighting it._

FLASHBAAAAAAAACK…..END!

"The secondhand smoke drifted through the Library for a while, and began absorbing trace amounts of Suergy from the environment. Eventually, it gained limited sentience, and escaped into the Twilight fandom. When Willowe was imprisoned there, the massive amounts of Suergy released by her Prohibition combined with the natural Suergy of Twilight and the secondhand Sue smoke that happened to be nearby."

"This sounds oddly familiar…." Ben mumbled.

"Anyway... the force of the explosion formed me. However, there was still a great deal of spare Suergy condensed into a single form. As a negative copy of Aster, I was intelligent enough to build my own Plothole Generator….and spaceship…..out of tin cans.

"Hey!"

"Quiet. I quickly escaped to this fandom, a story that, though planned, was never written, hence the rather uninteresting surroundings." Retsa gestured toward the infinite desert.

"After only a short while, some of the Suergy inside me escaped, forming Relyt and Ekard. Both, like myself, were perfect opposites to their Society counterparts."

"Question."

"What now?"

"Why create the Ubers?"

"I'm getting to that! Anyway, as more and more Protection Society Agents were formed, we realized that, although we were many, you were…..uh…..more-many."

"That's not a word."

"Shut up! We decided that we needed a weapon, a way to end this war in our favor. By coincidence-,"

"Proving that my author fails at creating good Xanatos Gambits…"

"What?"

"Never mind."

"STOP INTERRUPTING! This was at the same time that Faya began her plan to take over using the Ubers. When Shade killed Faya, we took our opportunity, convincing the Ubers to side with us. We quickly worked out how to create them faster, although it did come at the cost of some reduction in their fighting skills."

"You mean making them total cannon fodder," Drake interrupted.

"Whatever. Kidnapping Tyler was merely an attempt to test our newly created Ubers on the field of battle, along with a new gadget we called the Negatizer Magnet. After that, we began Operation Final Perfection. Several Agents were sent into fandoms, with the goal of finding Sues and bringing them in to absorb their essence. After we had finished, we allowed a massive Suergy signature to escape through the ship's dampers, alerting you to our presence, and you came. And then…." Retsa gestured again, although this time less expansively.

Aster stepped forward. "So….what now?"

Retsa smiled and pointed upwards. As the Society raised their heads to stare into the skies, they beheld the PCMSPS ship. Only…..it was different. Maybe it was that the edges were slowly pulling towards the center. Maybe it was the brilliant golden light shining from inside it. Or maybe it was the thunderous mechanical voice announcing, "FIVE MINUTES LEFT." After only a few seconds, the ship, like everything else, had dissolved into golden light, revealing a large football-shaped capsule, that, like everything else of the PCMSPS seemed to, glowed with a golden light. It descended to the ground, embedding itself in the sand. Retsa grinned.

"You heard the voice. Five minutes left."

Tash took another step toward the PCMSPS leader. "What makes you think you'll succeed? We're going to stop you!"

Retsa smiled, and then did something that nobody expected. She placed her staff against the ground, using it like a cane, and stood up.

"Wrong. _I'm _ going to stop _you_." She raised her staff.

"Haven't you ever wondered about my counter to Aster's soul power is?"

"Nope."

"Not really."

"Nah."

"No."

"Well, I'm going to tell you. I have control over the powers of life and energy. I've only used them once before, to produce the Ubers. However, if I can give life….I can take it away as well. Now….I'm going to destroy you all." She twirled her staff, preparing to annihilate the Society…

"No."

"Hm?"

Aster had advanced on Retsa, staff raised, pointing at the last PCMSPS Agent. "You aren't going to hurt anyone."

Retsa sneered. "And how you you propose to stop me?"

"Like this."

Before anyone could do anything, Retsa was lifted into the air. Around her feet, sand began to swirl. As the Society watched, the sand whirled up, hiding Retsa in a veil of grit and dirt. The miniature sandstorm spun faster and faster, and began to close in. Retsa's screams of agony were drowned out by the rushing wind and the noise of sand tearing through her skin, muscle and bones, shredding her to pieces. By this point, most of the Society had turned away, not wishing to watch Retsa be torn apart. Aster, however, remained completely focused on the execution. Several long seconds later, the sandstorm died down, and what bits of Retsa were left dissolved into the customary golden dust, and was absorbed into the capsule. Once again the voice spoke.

"THREE MINUTES LEFT."

Tash raised _Nepthys _in the air. "What are we waiting for? We've got a multiverse to save."

TTTTTTTTT

_Up next; The Final Finale ™._

_As per, what Shakespeare play is the title of this chapter based off?_


	5. Chapter 5

_In which Shakespeare ceases to roll over in his grave._

….

_**The Big Finish **_(with added emphasis for emphasis and redundancy)

….

"PERFECTIFICATION IN TWENTY-FIVE MINUTES!" blared the voice from the capsule's sound emitter thingy.

"Quiet, disembodied voice! Juari-Ken…Tairenso!" Tash burst into flame, smashing into the capsule of condensed Suergy, but the only effect she had was to push it back slightly. "Damn it!"

For the past minute, various members of the Society had been trying, completely without success, to disable Operation: Final Perfection.

Harriet smashed it with her cricket bat.

Ben had nuked it.

Valerie had fired arrows for the better part of the minute.

Drake had given it a vicious Storm Kick.

Tyler had detonated approximately a pound of grenades on it.

Ingrid had blasted it with an assault rifle.

Cristoph had stabbed it with his sais while Algazdun pecked at it.

Rhia slashed it with her wakizashi.

Ossa slashed it with her katana.

Jess jabbed it with her needle.

Danielle smacked it with her staff.

Terrie hurled knives at it.

Kyle pounded on it with a mace-shaped Omniweapon.

Willie blasted it with Hellfire.

Chrys blasted it with Desu.

Jared smashed it with the Boomhammer.

Chloe sliced it with her shield.

Dave hammered on it with his axe.

Shirley tore at it.

Alice sliced it with her sword at level 5.

Louise unloaded a round of ammo into it.

Tom stabbed it.

Akai stabbed it.

Aster blasted it with a massive windstorm, and then a blizzard.

Lily hit it with a blast from Excalibur.

Michael slashed it.

Claire hurled a pinecone at it, nearly knocking it over.

Pete fired at it with the Lighthopper guns.

Karissa smashed Gekkou into it.

Charis had been trying to disrupt it with an EMP, with no success.

Many more Society Agents attacked it with many more skills, until it became completely impossible that they had all been fitted into a minute. The effect of all this?

"At least we scratched the paint," Tyler pointed out.

"Don't mess with nukes!" Another nuke slammed into the capsule, enveloping it in nuclear flame.

"Random blast of magic that shouldn't have a name but I wanted it to so it does!" A blast of blue energy smashed into the capsule, pushing it back almost twenty feet, but having no effect.

"YOU AREN'T GOING TO BREAK IT, YOU KNOW."

"Shut up!"

"PERFECTIFICATION IN TWENTY MINUTES, BY THE WAY."

Tash blinked.

"Twenty minutes? Weren't there around three minutes left when Retsa died?"

"RETSA PROVIDED A GREAT DEAL OF EXTRA SUEREGY TO COMPRESS INTO EXPLOSIVE PERFECTIFICATION. IT WILL TAKE A GOOD WHILE LONGER NOW."

"Oh."

"EXACTLY. CAN YOU PLEASE STOP BOTHERING ME NOW? IT IS GETTING EXTREMELY ANNOYING."

"No!" Tash slashed _Nepthys_ across the capsule, but it had no effect.

"PLEASE DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DAMAGE ME."

"I'll damage you if I feel like it!" Again Tash struck at the capsule, but nothing happened.

"THAT IS IT. I AM GOING TO USE THE ANIMATOR."

"The what?"

"OBSERVE." A small laser-pointer like object popped out of the sound-emitter thingy, and fired into the sand. Everyone held their breath, waiting to see what would happen. The sand glowed, and…. nothing happened.

The entire Society facefaulted collectively.

Tash frowned. "You realize that that did nothing, right?"

That's when a massive hand rose out of the sand, smacking her away. She recovered quickly, landing on her feet, but was stunned for a moment by the sheer unexpectedness of the attack.

"THAT WAS THE ANIMATOR. IT CAN CONTROL OBJECTS VIA TELEKINESIS."

"Yah!"

"WHAT?"

Michael lunged forward, slicing the sand arm in two, before slicing at the capsule. Before his sword could reach it though, the sand reformed into a tentacle, grabbing the Leader and lifting him into the air…

Then Claire hurled a pinecone at it. The pinecone smashed straight through the tentacle and hit the capsule with a loud ringing noise. As Michael fell, he slashed at the capsule again, this time connecting with a solid slash, although it still did nothing. As the tendril reformed, both Agents leapt back to avoid getting sliced by it.

"Fastball Special!" Drake launched Tyler at the capsule with unbelievable speed. Tyler swung his staff, but simply bounced off. As he did so, Drake hit with a Slicing Gale, pushing the capsule back slightly.

"Enchanto!"

"Tremor!"

A huge explosion erupted from the ground under the capsule, lifting it into the air before slamming it down. Even still, it wasn't even scratched.

"Don't Mess with Nukes!" A third nuke slammed into the capsule. Still nothing.

"I have an idea! Cover me!" Harriet charged the capsule. As another sand hand rose out of the ground, swatting at the Society leader, but Tash flew overhead, slicing it in two. As Harriet got closer to the capsule, the hand reformed, swiping at her…and she dodged, letting the hand smack the capsule. Once again, there was a ringing noise, and then….

Skritch!

"OW."

"Yes!" Harriet exclaimed. "We scratched the glass!"

Tash's jaw dropped. "How does that even make sense? We've been hitting that thing for minutes now, and the only thing that accomplished _anything_ was it hitting itself?"

"Don't complain, Tash!" Valerie called, launching a stream of arrows at the capsule. As the sand formed into a barrier, Ben hit from behind with a series of notes from Bahamut, pitching the capsule into its own barrier.

Skritch!

"Haha!"

"That makes even less sense!"

"Ha!" Pete fired a round of energy blasts into the capsule. Once again….

Skritch!

"STOP THAT."

"I get it now!"

"What?"

"Hitting it with the sand hand must have been the proverbial straw that breaks the equally proverbial camel's back!"

"In that case…" Harriet cupped her hands to her mouth, calling to the entire Society. "Hit it with everything you got!"

Once again, the entire Society let loose on the capsule. As tendrils burst from the sand, the stronger Agents stayed behind to deal with them, while the faster ones zipped through to deliver blows to the capsule.

"OW! PERFECTIFICATION IN 15 MINUTES BY THE WAY. JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW."

"Not really…." Tash muttered to herself. "Juari-Ken…Tairenso!" Tash burst into a whirlwind of flames, spinning towards the capsule, bracing herself to slice through a tendril or hand.

However, she still wasn't prepared for the massive shape that burst from the sand, throwing her fifty feet backwards. Sand dripped off the beast's rapidly forming, dragonlike body as it let out a thunderous roar. As the roar died down, all was eerily silent for a moment. Then, just as jarringly, the silence was broken by Tyler.

"Holy muffins, what is that?"

"THIS IS THE ULTIMATE WEAPON DEFENSE. ITS SOLE PURPOSE WAS TO BE USED IN CASE OF ACTUAL DAMAGE TO ME. RETSA TESTED IT SEVERAL TIMES, AND EACH TIME, THE PROTECTION SOCIETY WAS UNABLE TO DEFEAT IT WITHIN TWENTY-FIVE MINUTES."

"Don't we have more than twice the Agents they do?"

"RETSA FELT CONFIDENT THIS WOULD WORK. JUDGING BY YOUR ABYSMAL FAILURE TO DAMAGE ME SO FAR, I BELIEVE HER CALCULATIONS WERE CORRECT. PREPARE TO DIE."

The sand beast charged at the Society, who scattered. As the beast turned around, Harriet smashed one of its legs with her cricket bat. Before the beast could fall, sand gathered around the stump, forming a new leg almost instantly.

"Crap, it can regenerate?" Then the sand beast kicked out, hurling Harriet backwards.

"My Coffeemakers are not Controlled by Hoover Dam Computers!"

"Storm Kick!"

"Boomhammer! Tremor! Epicenter!"

"Enchanto!"

"I Don't Call My Attacks!

Coffee, earth, Rubik's cubes, magic, and Drake all slammed into the beast, and chunks of sand dripped from its now-soaked form, but they regenerated just as fast. As Drake fell, he slammed a Storm Punch into its side. As the beast turned to snap at him, Valerie demolished its back leg with a volley of arrows. Tash launched herself up, delivering a flaming slash to the sand monster's side, fusing bits of it to glass, which Claire shattered with a pinecone. Ingrid loosed a round of bullets into the regenerating back leg, and Lily froze the whole regeneration process….literally, by jamming an Ice Blow into the leg. The sand beast roared in pain, and unleashed a blast of sand from its maw at Lily, who activated Top Gear, teleporting away just in time.

"TEN MINUTES LEFT!"

"Come on, we have to take this thing down!" Tash yelled.

Jess blasted another leg with water, before Ossa slashed it off. The beast roared again, falling forwards. As it did, Karissa swung Gekkou, smashing through part of its face before it could fire another blast of sand. Both Rhia and Cristoph ran up onto the beast, slicing its wings off. As a finishing touch, Kyle blasted its head with an Aurora Grenade. The beast quickly dissolved back into the sand.

"THAT MAKES NO SENSE. THE PROTECTION SOCIETY TOOK AN HOUR TO DEFEAT THE ULTIMATE WEAPON, ONLY TOOK TEN MINUTES?"

Tash smirked.

"Like I said, we've got more than twice the numbers you ha- wait a minute! Did you say _ten _minutes?"

"YES. I DID."

"That makes no sense!" Tash protested.

"I SPED UP THE COUNTDOWN BY RELEASING THE SUERGY TO POWER THE ANIMATOR, AND BECAUSE THIS FANDOM ONLY EXISTS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THE COUNTDOWN, I EFFECTIVELY SPED UP TIME."

"Bollocks! Everyone! Stop relaxing! We've got five minutes to prevent the end of the universe!" Harriet yelled.

Once again, the entire Society burst into action, blasting the capsule with everything they had.

-DISCLAIMER: THE FOLLOWING SCENES HAPPEN AT EXACTLY THE SAME TIME. DO NOT BE CONFUSED-

"What does it take to damage this thing!" Tyler blasted a sand tendril into oblivion, and fired a round of energy bullets, which were stopped by a sand wall. "Damn it!"

"Let's see it stand up to this!" Ben strummed a few notes on Bahamut, vaporizing the barrier, but before he could take advantage of the opening, the sand burst up, knocking him off his feet.

"Storm Kick!" Drake vaulted over both Agents, hitting the capsule feet-first. He was forced to propel himself backwards as two sand blades slashed up, narrowly missing his ankle. "Good thing I got all that practice from dodging Adrian's traps!"

00000

Valerie stood on the sand dune, firing sprays of arrows at the capsule. Meanwhile, Terrie, Ezra, and Danielle were fighting sand tentacles, keeping them from getting in Valerie's way.

00000

"Don't Mess With Nukes! My Coffeemakers are not Controlled by Hoover Dam Computers!" Coffee and nukes bombarded the capsule, but to no effect.

"Epicenter!"

"Enchanto!" Explosive Rubik's cubes and a wall of earth slammed into the capsule. Still nothing.

00000

"Hellfire!" A blast of dark flames seared the capsule with enough heat to fuse the surrounding sand to glass, although evidently not enough to damage the capsule.

"Bolero of Steam!" now the capsule was coated in steam, but to no effect.

"Gah! Fire Slash!" A flaming blade struck the capsule.

"Water Scythe!" A burst of water struck the capsule.

Nothing.

"AUGH!"

00000

"Juari-Ken…Rinwi!" Tash smashed both feet into the capsule….and nothing happened.

Harriet smashed it with her cricket bat.

Aster blinked. "This is getting oddly repetitive…"

However, she still fired a jet of water. Nothing, nothing, and more nothing.

00000

Everywhere in the universe, various invincible villains twitched. It was as if there was a new one out there somewhere….s

00000

"Seriously, what does it take? We've nuked it, slashed it, stabbed it, blasted it, bombed it, roasted it, frozen it, hacked it, shot it, thrown pincones at it, hit it with a cricket bat….this is getting ridiculous!"

"YES. THAT'S SORT OF THE POINT. EITHER WAY, I CAN'T HAVE YOU GETTING IN THE WAY OF THE PLAN. DIE."

A wave of sand burst out, flattening the Society. Tyler was the first to recover, staggering towards the capsule. He didn't make it. Less than a yard from the capsule, he collapsed from sheer exhaustion. As he did, he flung his staff arm in front of him, and it brushed the capsule ever so gently….

CRACK!

"WHAT?"

The entire Society leapt to its feet, instantly rejuvenated. "YES! WE DID IT!"

"NO MATTER. PERFECTIFICATION WILL STILL TAKE PLACE."

Tash's eyes nearly popped out of her head. "WHAT?"

"DESPITE THE DAMAGE TO THE SUERGY CONDENSION CAPSULE, THE SUERGY WILL STILL PURGE THIS SUBFANDOM. YOU WILL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR BILLIONS OF….WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Tash had pulled out her Plot Summary.

"You're lying."

"WHAT?"

"I checked. Aside from us…..and I guess you….there isn't even the slightest sign of life here."

For a moment, all was totally silent. And then….

"FUCK."

Tash blinked. "Never thought I'd hear a computer swear…."

"EVEN SO….PERFECTIFICATION IN TEN SECONDS."

"_Five seconds?_ Are you just making it up now?" Tash screamed.

"NO. BY DAMAGING THE CAPSULE, YOU RADICALLY SPED UP THE COUNTDOWN. PERFECTIFICATION IN FIVE…."

The Society rapidly began opening Plotholes and diving into them.

"FOUR…."

As the Society's Plotholes closed, Tyler was the last one left, gazing contemplatively at the now-glowing capsule. "_Well, I guess that's the end of the PCMSPS…..I suppose it's almost too bad, in a way…."_

"THREE…."

Tyler snapped out of his reverie, opening a Plothole.

"TWO…"

Tyler dived in.

"ONE…"

The Plothole sealed behind the Agent with a pop.

"ZERO."

00000

Pure, white light.

Although Tash had been correct, if anything were alive in the sub-fandom, it would have been instantly blinded by the sheer brightness of the light now blasting in waves out of the completely demolished capsule. Of course, it wouldn't have very long to be worried about its blindness, because less than a second later, the entire universe was absolutely nothing. The words that had made up its very being were being unwound as destroyed, reducing it to a meaningless husk.

Even after the perfective wave had died down, the shockwave rippled out, touching every fandom in existence…

00000

In the Yugioh fandom…

Yugi and Joey were about even. Yugi controlled the Buster Blader equipped with a Divine Sword Phoenix Blade, but Joey had out a Red Eyes Black Metal Dragon equipped with Dragon Nails. Both player's life points were at 100 Neither had any cards set. They were playing on a tabletop.

"Okay Yugi! I'm finally going to beat you! I activate Mystical Space Ty-,"

Just then both duelists were thrown off their chairs by a shockwave, their cards hopelessly scattered.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

00000

In the Spectrobes fandom…

Maja knocked Rallen to the ground with a blow of her scythe arm. "Ha ha ha! You thought you could just waltz in and defeat me, huh? Well now you're gonna pay!"

She raised the scythe…

A shockwave knocked the High Krawl off her feet, and yanked Rallen to his. Before Maja could get up, Rallen fired his blaster at her, burning off the scythe arm.

"The tables are turned, Maja!"

"GGRAH!"

00000

In the Pokemon fandom…

Jessie snickered. They had trapped Pikachu in a rubber claw. Ash was out of usable Pokemon. It looked like Team Rocket was finally going to get away with capturing Pikachu.

Then a shockwave sent the robot attached to the claw toppling over. Pikachu leapt to freedom, and Team Rocket was thrown out of the cockpit. James raised his head, to see Pikachu glaring at them, cheeks sparking with electricity.

"Er…"

A moment later….

"Team Rocket's blasting off agaiiiiiin!"

DING!

00000

So the last act of the PCMSPS was to maintain the status quo? That seems a little ironic…" Tyler mumbled.

"Don't complain, Tyler." Drake said matter-of-factly.

Tyler twitched. "That's it!"

Drake started. "What?"

"The running gag for this chapter!"

The fourth wall rumbled.

"What are you talking about?"

"In the first chapter, it was the Department of Redundancy Department. The second chapter was the floating mouths. The third chapter…..uh, not sure. Fourth chapter, it was Retsa constantly being interrupted, and this chapter, it was random ironic echoes!"

At this, the fourth wall spasmed so hard that Drake and Tyler were thrown to the ground.

"Ow…."

"Well, you should have known better."

"Hmph." Tyler got up, followed by Drake.

"So, you think that's really the end of—MMPH!"

This last exclamation was due to Tyler clamping a hand over Drake's mouth. "Don't say it!"

"Mmphmmph!"

"Oh…..right…sorry." Tyler moved his hand off of Drake's mouth. The other Agent inhaled deeply.

"What was that for!"

"Look, in the first chapter-,"

The fourth wall rumbled ominously.

"-I said the cave looked deserted, and then the bat-squid showed up! Obviously, if anyone confirms the end of the PCMSPS, this entire five chapters-,"

RUMBLERUMBLE

"-will all have somehow been part of their _master _master plan! And, speaking for myself, I do _not _ want to go through the whole, 'epic finale,' shtick again!"

Drake nodded. "Ooookay…."

Tyler shrugged. "Sorry, but it needed to be said."

"Not really."

"Whatever."

"Incidentally….79."

"81." Tyler smirked.

"66, actually."

"What? I got 81!"

"No, those five you got to fight Relyt don't count."

"What? They totally count!"

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"You didn't kill them, Relyt did!"

"Yes, but I tricked them into thinking he was me!"

"That doesn't count!"

"In any case, Relyt technically _is _me, just more evil. It counts."

"By your own argument, those three Ekard impaled trying to stab me count for my score, giving me 82."

"…..Muffins."

….

_And that is how the PCMSPS ends. Not with a bang, but with a huge explosion the likes of which the universe has never seen, and didn't see that time either, that made sort of a "!" sound._

…_._

…_._

…_.What? I said Shakespeare was going to stop rolling over in his grave. Never said anything about T.S Eliot.  
And so, the Dramatic Finale is over. Finally. Also the PCMSPS. Yes. They're actually dead. Well…..erased from existence. With the exception of the creepy guy in black, who's so mysterious _I_ don't know who he is. Not Relyt or Retsa though. Nor Faya, who was not actually part of the PCMSPS, but is still dead. Also, the rat survived. It escaped final perfectification by hiding in the refrigerator. The force of the blast propelled it into the next universe, which happened to be Indiana Jones. This gave Jones the idea to hide in the refrigerator. The rat followed Jones on his way to Akator, where it was eaten by the ants. _

_So, in the words of a famous cartoon…..That's all, folks! (For now). _


End file.
